Even In Death
by protejerinnocencia
Summary: DH SPOILERS Severus has accepted death.  But what he wasn't expecting was to find peace with the one person he would have gladly died a hundredfold for.


_Even In Death_

The world faded into nothingness around him as he felt the last vestiges of life leave him. He couldn't say he was unhappy to have died. After all it was a war and he had been in a very dangerous position. But he had hoped he could have lived long enough to see the foul creature he had pretended to call "master" for so long finally beaten. Suddenly, out of the darkness that had enveloped him, a figure began to emerge. He blinked several times, but the figure did not disappear. Instead it grew closer, more distinct; the soft ruby colored hair framing her face and her dazzling emerald eyes locked onto him.

"Hello Sev," she spoke gently, offering a pale hand to him. He took it and slowly she pulled him up.

"Lily," was all he could manage. He had of course known he would somehow see her in the afterlife.

They began walking and the surroundings changed into a peaceful looking park with a solitary bench. Lily sat down and Severus beside her. They stayed silent for a while before she spoke.

"I'm proud of you," she said finally.

"Proud? Whatever for? I was a scheming little prick," Severus spat.

"You risked your life to keep my son alive and safe," she replied.

"Only to die in the end," he grumbled. He had been none-too-impressed when Albus had admitted that his goal in keeping Harry alive was so he could ultimately die.

"He hasn't died yet Severus," she murmured, taking his hand in hers. He shivered slightly at her touch. It had been so long since they had been so close physically.

"I begged him to spare you," he finally growled. Lily let go of his hand at this. She had never known he had tried to save her life that night.

"Severus, I…" she began but could not find the words to express how she felt.

"He tried to spare me….but…I couldn't let him kill my son," she finally gasped out. Severus eyed her and stood up, distancing himself.

"You weren't supposed to die, Lily," Severus snarled harshly, as if it was her fault somehow.

"I'm sorry you feel that it was somehow my fault," she said coolly, picking up on his tone.

"But you do not know the fear it is to lose a loved one," she said, trying to keep her voice even.

"I lost my mother," he reminded her.

"Losing a parent and losing a child are two entirely different beasts," she shot back.

"And you do not know the torment I have suffered every day for the past sixteen years. I lost the only good thing I ever had that night. Lily, I lost you," he nearly shouted at her. Lily sat there, taking in the information, her face betraying no emotion.

"We were always close, weren't we," she murmured.

"Best mates," she continued.

"Lily…" Severus began, rejoining her on the bench.

"I know you didn't mean what you said that day. I knew you were just mad that James used one of your spells," she interrupted him.

"That matters not to me," he said quickly.

"I…I have always longed to be more than just…friends," he breathed, as if saying it too loudly would bring about some catastrophic event.

"Oh Sev," she gasped. She had thought at times he fancied her but she'd always convinced herself that he was being protective.

"You should have said something," she said, taking his hands in her own.

"What good would it have done?" he asked.

"Oh it must have just been awful…finding out I'd married James," she rambled, tears clearly visible in her eyes.

"What's done is done," he stated, although he really didn't want to believe the words passing over his lips.

"No Severus. All those times a part of me thought you fancied me…I was right. And I tried to convince myself I was being foolish. Because deep down…I really did love you too," she sobbed, clutching his chest. Instantly he wrapped his arms around her, holding close as he had longed to do for years.

"I would have gladly died in your stead that night if it meant you would survive," he murmured against her hair.

They stayed in that position for what seemed like ages; the boy from Spinner's End and the girl whom he loved. What a pair they had made; joined at the hip in their youth, separated by anger and betrayal in life. But even in death, there was that small part of both of them that recognized their need for the other; that they were not complete without their other half. It no longer mattered that she had been married and that he had played the spy. In death, they were once again whole, finally knowing what it meant to love the other.


End file.
